A day in the life of Maka Albarn
by archangelic.gracelessness
Summary: Maka and Soul have always been close, as partners that goes without saying. But one alcohol fuelled night, they both pretend to have forgotten, leaves volumes unspoken, hanging awkwardly in the air between them. And getting around this 'tension' with her partner is just one of the struggles in a day in the life of Maka Albarn. SoulXmaka. [warnings inside] {THIS HAS BEEN ABANDONED}
1. Chapter one- it just hasn't been my day

_Maka and soul have always been close, as partners that goes without saying, but one alcohol fuelled night, they both pretend to have forgotten about, leaves volumes of unspoken truths hanging in the air between them. And getting around this 'tension' with her partner is just one of the struggles in a day in the life of Maka Albarn._

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_moderate suggestiveness and swearing also one count of guy/guy, rated M for future scenes _

_THIS IS IN MAKAS POINT OF VIEW THROUGHOUT_

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**_chapter one - it just hasn't been my day_**

The shrill ringing of a bell pierces the air, a sudden shock to my senses, I pop my eyes open to see professor steins classroom. The room is clearing as the bustling crowd of weapons and their miesters push through the door to lunch break, and as usual the professors latest dissection lays grotesque and unidentifiable on his desk.

I let out a sigh and stand groggily from my desk, I must of fallen asleep again. I can't keep doing this, thats the third time this week! I can't maintain my status as top of the class if I go on like this, I'll loose my much prized position to that smug bastard Ox. But no matter how hard I try or how many Internet methods I use I can't get a damn wink of sleep, not since about a month back.

"hay maka, earth to maka" I hear the familiar voice of soul, my weapon partner and closest friend, penetrate through my misty veil of exhaustion and daydream. I slowly turn to him, trying my hardest to push back the persistent memories of that night , "hay soul! uh, sorry I just woke up, as fascinating as dissections are and all." I breathe out shakily and remain cool, smiling my signature smile and holding up a peace sign, which is our thing.

"Cool, lets go to lunch then and meet the others" he says, soul lets his lips curve into a toothy grin as he returns the sign, his eyes lighting up as they bore into mine, the way they did, always have, but now there's something different something more, a secret between us, and I swear to god if he looks at me like that one more damn time im going to maka chop the life out of him.

We walk side by side down the narrow corridors, or at least they feel narrow, the space between us way too small for comfort but its been that way for a while now, students lean agains the walls conversing, the clamour of sounds melding as the exhaustion still grips me, I sigh ever so slightly, it's gonna be a long day. soul walks faster than I do, allowing me to glance at him without him noticing from time to time, a skill I'm well trained in, I know it's creepy but frankly I don't care. I notice his hair is a little more tousled than usual and his eyes are a slightly more muted red than is normal, perhaps he hasn't been sleeping either. the thought makes my stomach flip, stay cool maka, I scold myself, locking my eyes firmly ahead.

We're at the lunch hall now and just ahead I can see black star and tsubaki, who appear to be, yep they're making out. "Get a room, eh?" Soul chuckles, nudging me with his elbow slightly as we take our seats at a table near them, "aha, yeah but they look happy." I smile laughing a little. luckily he didn't notice the burning of my cheeks at the contact.

"PUDDING KID LOOK!" Someone screeches from across the dining hall, who else but patty. I turn to see liz and kid, arm in arm watching an over excited patty balancing a tray of about thirty pudding cups in her arms, a look of wonderment on her childlike features. "PATTY YOU'VE STACKED THEM ALL WRONG THERE'S ONE TOO MANY ON THE LEFT ITS ASYMMETRICAL ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'RE GOING TO EAT ASYMMETRICAL PUDDING?" Kid gushes, waving his arms in frantic distress while liz stands with her palm to her face. "Oh brother" she mutters between her fingers.

"Hay maka, wanna share my ice cream?" what. what. what. I spin round to see soul, sat next to me, who had; while I was observing the circus that is my friends (but I love them for it), got a single scoop of mint ice cream in a cone. And he wants me to share it with him. Share ice cream. One cone. Couple thing. Couple. Help.

"Uhh..." I panic, trying desperately to not blush. "Sure!" I manage to squeak, giving in to the 'fuck it I'm too tired for this shit' outlook. "PATTY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WALLS ARE NOT DRAWING ON AND PUDDING IS NOT FOR DRAWING WITH!" I hear kid yell from behind me, but I couldn't care less if there was a kishen doing the cha cha behind me right now, because my eyes are locked onto the sight before me.

Soul brings the cone to his mouth and parts his lips, slipping his tongue between them and dragging it across the cool mint, his eyes are closed, a hum of appreciation resonates from within him and I think my eyes just lost their virginity. "Here you go maka, it's really good" he grins as he hands me the cone, which I take with a minutely shaking hand.

The rest of lunch is pretty much more of the same, patty being patty, kid having a breakdown over the symmetry of things whiles liz stands by with a look of exhaustion, I know the feeling, and black star and tsubaki continue to play tonsil tennis. The usual. The only difference being that soul had a new way of making me super uncomfortable, ice cream, yay. God I need to sleep. Get my head straight, but that night, it's left thoughts clouding in my head like heavy grey fog before thunder, accumulating until the storm takes hold.

we're walking home now, soul, black star, tsubaki and the trio, who as usual walk arms linked with kid in the middle, strange really, they're a lot closer than they seem at first glance, no one really knows fully how close they are but there's an unbreakable bond between their souls like an unintentional constant resonance, I can pick it up when I use soul perception. Pretty neat actually, a bit like me and soul.

"Soul..." I look to him as he walks beside me, the wind blowing his hair in a way that really makes him look amazing and- Stop it maka. Get a grip. "Yeah, what's up?" He replies casually, grinning at me, GAH I can't do this. "Are you okay?" I ask tentatively, testing the water before I dive head first later.

He quirks and eyebrow, clearly a little confused but smiles when he sees how serious I am. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay." He looks me up and down, before briefly waving the trio off as we pass their creepy mansion of symmetry and giraffe related things. "See ya tomorrow guys!" He shouts as we keep walking, black star and tsubaki keep a little further back, murmuring to each other, since they got officially together black stars been less well, obnoxious. Which is great all round, although he still has his moments. Of course, what else can a big star like him do?

My eyes watch the pavement intensely trying to shake the nervousness, we pass a stick, a patch of grass, an empty crisp packet, soul grabs my hand... wait- soul grabs my hand? "Wha-" I turn to see those eyes, once again boring into mine, like they did when we first met, when he played to me, that song so dark and mysterious, and the time with the little demon, we lived through it all, together.

My heart skips a beat. "when you asked if I was okay..." He begins, the sleep from my system has worn off almost completely by now and I'm missing it like a comfort Blanket. "Yeah?" I smile, "is everything okay soul?" I ask as we keep walking, his vision drags downwards to the concrete , he looks unsure. "To be honest, no." He sighs, a half hearted smile on his lips.

"Oh soul, what's bothering y- AHH CRAP!" My world tumbles and flips as I trip over my own feet, disoriented yet seemingly unharmed I open my eyes again to see soul directly above me, holding me in his arms. "Caught ya" he laughs, "you aught to be more careful maka, you can't go falling so easily" he trails off remembering the night he spoke words so similar. We both pretend not to remember, it was a drunken mistake, it didn't even happen. "Y-yeah" I laugh shakily breaking through the layer of awkward, he still has me held up in his arms, god help me.

he pulls me to my feet a little too hard, pulling me palms flat against his chest. Meep. "So... What were you s-saying soul?" I manage to stammer. His eyes lock onto mine, "I'm not okay, I haven't been for a while." He says cool and serious, the tone of his voice forming a lump in my throat I can't swallow.

"Tell me about it, I want to help" I whisper, we are super close, centimetres apart in fact, is he leaning down or is it just my imagination? with a final movement, we are both on the floor, having just been yanked apart by the neighbourhood nut job redhead. "WHAT THE HELL PAPA NOT NECISSARY!" I yell from the floor, looking over at soul who is dazed and rubbing at his head with the flat of his hand, "uhh... Ouch?" He groans groggily.

The redhead, turns out to be spirit, aka my weirdo father, a suit clad, emotional wreck who has some serious attatchment issues when it comes me. "I will not have you making kissy faces at my maka again Evans! I'm onto you and your ways, I'm a guy, I know what you want!" He wags a finger at soul exasperatedly who is now sat upright on the concrete looking confused.

"DUDE I WASN'T MAKING A MOVE ON YOUR DAUGHTER LAY OFF!" he yells in his defence. Despite all my best efforts to hide my disappointment it cuts me like a knife, he wasn't going to kiss me, we didn't just have a moment. stupid maka, you idiot, I scold myself for ever considering him feeling that way about plain, flat chested me; without the heavy influence of vodka and coke that is.

I shrug apologetically at soul, and decide now is a good time to get up. Dusting myself off I walkover to him, just moments ago I was in his strong arms, shit I'm such an idiot, maybe it's a good thing papas such an overprotective creeper, he saved me a hell of a disappointment. "You okay?" I finally ask, my hands instinctively grabbing fistfuls of my long black coat, giving me something to hold onto as I feel like I'm about to topple over again, the fatigue and the come down of adrenaline finally getting to me.

"Yeah I'm cool, you alright?" He asks me, smiling in a way that makes breathing for me a tad difficult. "I guess, I mean yeah" I nod, trying to be convincing; eager to just hurry up and get home, where I can loose myself in a book and forget this little hiccup in my usually so meticulous routine. I turn to say goodbye to papa, despite the fact he just flung me and soul across the concrete in a desperate attempt to stop him having his 'wicked way with me' (seriously papa get with the program that's never going to happen no matter how much I want it to), to see professor stein has joined him, and has proceeded to slip an arm round his waist and press his lips to his and- GAH. They may have been together a while now but I am never getting used to that shit. I hear soul chuckle from beside me, so I promptly elbow him in the ribs and we finished the walk home in silence.


	2. Chapter two- Dream a little dream of me

_I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER _

_Thankyou so much for your kind reviews, they are important to the writing process aswell as a confidence boost. I sincerely hope you are enjoy reading my fic as much as I enjoy writing it. _

_warnings- slight suggestiveness, foreboding and swearing, rated M for future chapters. (Yes there will be smut soon probably maybe you will have to find out muhaha) _

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The clock strikes one am, and its no shock that yet again I can't damn sleep, typical. The weight of exhaustion making gravity feel twice as strong, my eyelids and aching limbs cry out to give in, to allow sweet surrender and rest for the first time in... how many days has it been? I've lost track.

Though the usual forbidden images and softly spoken words that flash through my memory are not the cause for my restlessness tonight, but my partner Souls pretty odd behaviour on the way home today. It's been bugging me ever since my papa 'interrupted' us. I cant keep from replaying that scene over and over; I'm stood pressed against him, I feel the warmth of his breath ghost across my face, he is so close, and it sends electric shivers down my spine. It felt like perfection, it felt right.

But those scarlet eyes look troubled when they stare into mine, the smile that graces his lips is one of uncertainty, "Im not okay, I haven't been for a while." His voice echoes through the planes of my mind. "oh soul, I wish I could change it all back..." I whisper into the dark silence of my room, and with a heavy sigh let my head flop down onto the desk I'm sat at with a thud. The noisy babble of thoughts melds together until all is blackness.

The sky here is purple, the clouds here are green, and the long grass shines a deep orange in the setting sun. A sweet summertime breeze whispers through the crimson leaves of triangular trees, blowing my hair softly in front of my eyes. I know this place well.

The orange grass of the glade parts like the Red Sea before me, as I walk forward. I have never before made it completely to the other side of this field, but can always catch a glimpse of what awaits me, who awaits me. Sweet bird song flows in the air itself lazily numbing my senses further in this surreal scene. As I walk I trail my fingers through the cool grass stems, it occurs to me I need to find soul, an instinctual feeling tells me that I must, in order to leave this bohemian world of limbo. One step at a time I wander until I come across a peculiar concrete and metal structure, long stitches of tin and steel scale the dim grey walls; the building itself casting a long dark shadow as it looms over me, at the centre of this sea of orange. Professor steins house? Maybe he can help me find soul...

The porch is strewn with empty bottles, some shattered, all in various bright and vibrant colours, forming a stained glass colideiscope, filtering through the air and decorating the dull concrete as sunlight shines through. I feel as though this is significant, like I have forgotten something I desperately need to remember, I dismiss the feeling and carefully step over the mess to knock the oddly stitch marked and imposing metal door.

"Professor stein?" I call out. For many minutes silence is all that will answer me, before a sudden booming creek erupts from the great doors hinges. I jump back yelping like Blair does when you accidentally step on her tail (or not so accidentally), and look up to see in the doorway, peering out into the sunlight stands a figure with shaggy grey hair and piercing green eyes, that glint through large thick rimmed circular glasses. DWMAs own Professor stein.

"prof-" I begin to say before I'm abruptly cut off, "shhhhhhhh..." He hisses soothingly, a slight nervous laughter dances in his eyes as, stepping back from the doorway, his frame is swallowed by the darkness of the houses interior. "I need you to help me find soul, I lost him... Somewhere... At some point, actually I can't remember, all I know is I need to find him." I explain. The professor is acting strange, although everything in this world of mine is, so I ignore it. I just need to find soul. From out of the gloom I hear him whisper softly, his voice tremors with a note of instability, I ignore it. "Of course... find soul... Soul. yes. come with me... I can help you find what it is you seek." With bated breath and the crunch of glass shards beneath my boots I step into the darkness, the door slamming shut with the groan of unoiled hinges.

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DUN. DUN. DUNNN!

Please review!


	3. Chapter three- A lesson in your heart?

_Okay chapter three guys. I do not own soul eater and warnings include swearing creepy stein and second hand embarrassment. Sorry the previous chapter was so short, It wasn't a writing day. But hopefully that was made up for by the content? Oh and sorry about typos I cant turn off autocorrect on my damn iPad. Anyway, read on :) _

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**_chapter three - And what can we learn of the workings of the heart?_**

The professors house has a peculiar layout, the door leads into a dimly lit; incredibly long and narrow corridor, with x-ray photographs pinned unceremoniously to the wall with no particular alignment, kid would burst a blood vessel in this place I think to myself with a smile. From the x-ray lined walls of the corridor he leads me into a startlingly vast room, the ceiling is several meters above us. The walls are embellished with a multitude of jars and beakers, bubbling pots of... Something, and heaps of book everywhere you turn And in the centre of the room stands a tall rusted spiral staircase, black paint flakes hang off of its banister in neglect, but its impressive nonetheless.

"That leads to the observatory..." Stein mumbles, in what is as close to his normal tone as I have heard in this place, this would be reassuring if he hadn't followed it up with another nervous giggle. When we reach the flaky, iron staircase the professor turns to me, and with eyebrows furrowed he begins to slowly turn the screw that goes through his temple and out the other side. "The thing that you seek..." He begins to say, before suddenly jolting, like he'd been struck by lightning. A slow and dangerous grin spreads across his face and his hand falls from the screw, redundantly to his side. This does not look good.

"Uhh... Professor stei-" I am cut off before I can finish by two hands clamping down on my shoulders like vices, taking me entirely by surprise. A scream rips through me, my every nerve tremors with shock, but then I am silenced as the professor leans slowly forward, mere inches from me. I can see the madness glittering in those emerald eyes.

My heart stops, the world seems to slow down completely and everything within me screams to get out of there, but I'm paralysed, my feet rooted to the ground. He's going to kill me, I think panicked. He's going to dissect me. The madness has got him again, and oh god I don't want to die like this.

Then realisation that i'll never find soul in his damn place hits me, and I suddenly feel so lost without him. I wonder in what I assume to be my last moments, if he will feel the same way when I'm gone, lost. Steins lips are moving but I can't hear what he's saying, and when I force myself to listen, what I do hear leaves me dumbstruck. "thats it!" the professor stage whispers, and as quickly as it came the menace drains from his being, replaced by his usual friendly smile and kind eyes.

Relief and confusion crash down on me like a crested wave, and I'm pretty sure my legs are about to give way. "Professor what the hell? why did you do that are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I shout, my heart still pounding like crazy. I push him back and fold my arms defiantly, partly because I feel like I need to hold myself together, as if I might shatter from the aftershock. I look up again to see him laughing quietly, smiling to himself, as he lights the cigarette he just placed between his lips, and I can't help but check his eyes for the madness I saw, nothing. For a scientist he sure can act.

"What's 'it' anyway?" I huff at him. "Hmm?" He mumbles with the cigarette between his teeth. I'm going to kill him I swear. I feel like chopping him in the freaking windpipe right now, but push back my irritation and politely ask again. "You know, 'that's it' the thing you said when you tried to give me cardiac arrest. In fact, why DID you scare the shit out of me? just curious." I smile sweetly, at him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. The professor grins and quirks an eyebrow, rolling the fag between stitch marked fingers. "I was doing what you asked me too" he replies.

"I asked you to help me find soul. How in any way does what you just did relate to finding soul?" I ask exasperated, still watching his eyes, untrusting. Steins emerald orbs narrow as they lock onto mine, "I think you already know the answer to that my dear girl" he sighs softly, exhaling smoke that forms a slithering grey snake of vapour, I watch it dance its way to the ceiling before disappearing like a breath in icy air. "What do you mean?" I stress, the feeling that I've forgotten something returning in the back of my consciousness.

"Maka, you're a great miester, and one of the things that makes you such a great miester is your fight, your ability to never give in, to see what you want and to go for it without hesitation..." He trails off, taking another drag. I watch the smoke in the air, and count the stitches on his hand as I try to figure out what the hell he's getting at, the more I think about it the stronger the feeling becomes, and I begin to feel kinda dizzy.

"Fear..." He begins, "is a paralytic, and when I did that, what happened to you physically and mentally might I ask?" The professor tilts his glasses and keeps his eyes trained on me as he awaits the data from his little 'experiment'. I take a deep breath and begin rhyming off what I felt, not knowing what the hell this has to do with soul. "I couldn't move, I wanted to do something, I had to, but I was stuck, unable to do to do anything at all because the fear stopped me." Stein nods, maybe taking a mental note. "Go on." He murmurs

"I thought about how I had to find soul, or else I may never see him again. I thought about how... He might feel when I did go, whether or not he'd miss me as much as I'd miss him." I say quietly, feeling odd talking to anyone about soul this way, especially to professor stein. Silence falls, and time passes with just the inhaling and exhaling of smoke before he speaks again. "well I'm no professional at this, but I have studied the human brain quite extensively." He probably means dissections, though makes me shudder. "... And I think you have feelings for soul that you're afraid of."

Well he hit the nail right on the head. A hot blush threatens to stain my face bright red, do I make it that obvious? "I uhh... Well I guess you could say that I suppose." I whisper, looking now at the symmetrical textured patterns on the metal floor, kid would much prefer the floor.

"Do you now see what I'm trying to tell you?" A hand is placed on my shoulder and I jump a little at the sudden pressure, looking up into the professors eyes, "fear stops you from moving forward, and fighting for what you desire, fear is a paralytic, and you must overcome this, only then will you find what it is you seek." He states with a smile. That feeling that I'd forgotten something leaves me, as I remember.

I wake with a start, the room is still dark, and the clock at my desk reads two seventeen am. Great only an hour and seventeen minutes sleep, I should feel like death warmed up, but instead I feel energy coursing through my veins. That dream, with stein acting as my subconscious, has made me realise what I have to do, even if the very idea of it scares the living shit out of me. I'm going to tell soul how I feel.

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_the next chapter will be incredibly fluffy, angst by the truck load and there may be smut. Okay there is a strong chance of smut. There will be smut._

_PLEASE REVIEW! ^_^_


	4. Chapter four- bittersweet memories

_chapter four! okay, I can't sleep lately, so I decided to write another chapter. Yes girls and boys this chapter contains smut, but not complete smut, this is merely a taster of what is to come. So yes this chapter is rated M for smut, swearing and angsty angst. I do not own soul eater~_

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**chapter four- bittersweet memories taste like vodka and coke**

I lean back in my chair and listen to the sound of the clock ticking, a hypnotic rhythm that almost lulls me back to my brilliant fields of orange. Thoughts rush around my head like bees in a hive, threatening to deafen me with the messy clamouring of words. What do I say, how do I say it, and how will soul react? will he reject me, possibly ruining what's left of our friendship after that night, the drunken blur that I cannot possibly forget. I sigh, letting my mind turn once again to those memories, memories that I know soul still holds within the darkest corners of his mind, and most probably try's to forget.

The smell of vodka and coke is sweet on his breath as he leans in, my heart skips a beat, my mouth agape in shock and confusion. "Soul...?" I whisper softly, my voice wavering nervously, as if to speak too loudly would shatter some invisible barrier between us. Without warning a hand snakes inside my shirt to caressingly curve around my waist, leaving trails of fire in its wake, burning perfection across my skin.

A gasp escapes my lips, earning a wicked grin from soul. "What are you doing?" I whimper, "what I've wanted to do for a long time..." he drawls, his crimson eyed gaze dragging hungrily down my body. Hot breath at my ear sends a white-hot jolt of pleasure through me and sets my pulse racing; followed by a command, gentle and innocent, but enough still to promise my deepest fantasies, come to life. "Close your eyes Maka..."

With bated breath my eyelids flutter closed, darkness envelops the world, heightening even the slightest of sensations felt. A strong hand finds the sensitive skin of my throat, and fingers glide, with alternating pressure, downward. I feel my breathing hitch and tremor uncontrollably to his every touch, I am putty in his hands, and still I keep my eyes firmly closed, revelling in this new found pleasure.

His hand lingers at my chest, feeling my heart beat, a quickening yet steady thumping beat. With a satisfied hum of approval soul pushes me slowly backward, to lay on the couch. The plush upholstery creeks as weight is shifted from beside me to the sweet pressure on top of my hips and thighs, igniting such arousal that arches my back and let's a moan tumble from my parted lips. Instantly embarrassed I feel my face flush hot, I realise soul is straddling me. Once again I sense hot breath ghost over my face and neck, my eyelids fluttering in delight, as this new and peculiar hunger spreads like wildfire within my very core.

"Maka..." His voice, devilish and coaxing is at my ear again, hypnotizing as a snake charmer. My hips involuntarily buckle upward, my eyes popping wide open in surprise, and the instant eye contact between us incinerates my resolve. The sight before me taking my breath away; his hair is messily tousled, eyes heady with longing, boring into mine.

"kiss me." I growl, unable to withstand such teasing any longer. The air grows silent save the sound of our ragged breathing mingling at such delicious proximity. Cool fingers carefully tilt my face upward, his eyes narrow, taking in every bit of me, and then warm, soft lips are roughly pressed against mine, and I am undone.

Reluctantly my mind moves onward to the next day, the beginning of the end. Cool morning light filters through the gaps in the shutters, I lazily open my eyes, heavy with the after effects of alcohol, to see soul. This would be all fine and good of course if we weren't both naked under a sheet on the couch.

As memories of the night before come flooding back I slap my hands over my mouth to contain the scream that threatens to wake the whole neighbourhood, and try not to allow myself to panic. Failing miserably at this, I hop up clutching the sheet around me, and dash around the room, collecting my scattered articles of clothing.

Miraculously I didn't trip on something in my haste and end up waking soul, but I suppose luck was on my side, kind of. With everything bundled unceremoniously in my arms and a white sheet hanging haphazardly around my naked body I almost fling myself into my bedroom, shutting the door tightly (but quietly) behind me. I dress myself and try to prepare for the inevitable confrontation, pacing my room and wringing my hands.

Suddenly it occurs to me, soul was the one to make the first move, a burst of adrenaline runs through me as I rush to process what this means. Does soul want to be with me? Is this the beginning of a new relationship, the thing I've dreamed of happening with soul for so long now. With a deep breath I open the door to my bedroom, hours having now passed, I am ready for this. Little did I know I wasn't ready for what I was faced with at all.

Step by agonising step I reach the living room, and there he sits, fully clothed and watching television. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, before I finally speak. "Hay soul" I almost squeak. He turns to me, his usual grin on his face "sup Maka?" He greets cheerfully, before turning back to the television. I am utterly dumbstruck. For lack of anything better to do with myself I walk numbly to the kitchen, sliding open the drawer containing pain killers and pour a glass of water, this will ease the headache but the pain I am yet to feel won't be so easy to dull.

"Maka, could you throw me in some of those, I've got a headache like you would not believe!" He pauses and then continues, a note of laughter in his voice "I got drunk last night and passed out on the couch, not sure why but... I woke up naked... that's the last time I mix my drinks eh?" my jaw drops, and so does the glass of water I was holding, as though in slow motion. Glass shards litter the floor, the water forming a kind of hydra, before gravity forces the beast to disperse into a puddle on the floor.

Soul runs in with a look of concern on his face at hearing the sudden noise, before glancing down at the kitchen floor, noticing the mess. "Maka you alright? You don't look so good." He asks, looking into my eyes searchingly. I stare back unblinkingly. "I dropped my glass." I respond bluntly, my voice sounding broken, so I lightly cough, knowing soul will probably just put it down to a cold.

"Uhh, do you want me to help you clean that up?" He asks worriedly, already moving toward the cupboard where we keep the broom. "Nah" I sigh, forcing a smile with every bit of strength I've got. "I can handle it" I add, he grins looking relived "cool" he says, and holds up a peace sign, before walking back into the other room.

I spend the next half hour slowly sweeping the dampness and shards into a pile, as I battle with my conflicting emotions. So I form an orderly check list in my mind before deciding what the hell I should do. Okay, so first point, I have feelings for soul, apparently strong feelings, which is probably why I can feel the hot sting of tears pricking behind my eyes. That much I know.

Second point, I lost my virginity to soul last night, and I would be totally okay with this, if not overjoyed if he felt them same, or even a little better about it if he so much as damn remembered. It's not his fault or mine I know, but that doesn't stop the hurt, and I'm not sure if anything ever will.

I slowly emerge from the bittersweet, agonising memories, and become aware that I am crying. It's not the first time, this is my nightly routine, the one reason I have been cursed to sleepless nights for months now. The only comfort these memories can provide me is the reassurance that the events that plague me did in fact happen, as from time to time I look at soul and realise how much I care for him, and wonder if I am crazy, if it was all just a surreal dream like professor steins eerie house in the bright orange field of my subconscious.

I drag an already damp sleeve over my tear soaked, aching eyes, and wearily glance at the clock, two forty-five am. I am about to give in to the sweet surrender of sleep once more, reunite with my wibbly wobbly dream world, when I hear something that makes my stomach twist sickeningly, a desperate and pained sob. And what is the reason this sound stops my heart in its tracks; it came from souls room.

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_smut here and smut there, next chapter will be the final one, or maybe not it depends, but there is definite soulXmaka in the near future. Thank you for reading and reviews are always welcome!_


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